Question & Answer with Author, Connie D. Standifer

I enjoy reading my subscribers emails. I am often asked whether or not I still grieve over the loss of my mother after I have experienced such success with writing my book. What readers really want to know is did I resume a life of living, laughing, and loving and because I wrote this book I returned to a happy life free from any similarities of the very experiences I wrote about. Wow, what a great question, but the assumptions that I am a super human are pretty far from the truth! I am human, but far from anything of the supernatural. In my attempt to answer this question, you will find my response will be far short of a yes or no answer because it really depends on the bough breaking experience as well as the individual. There is no one size fits all approach to the grieving process. Within the grieving process one can move forward and backwards due to various triggers. Nor is there a set time as to how fast or how slow an individual can move between phases. Getting back to the initial question, my answer is no. I still have brief moments of sadness where some encounters with grief are harder than others. I still miss my mother like it was just yesterday. Of course I'm much better today, than I was prior to writing the book. I have come to accept and understand that my mother's passing was indeed God's will. Just yesterday and out of no where I was literally holding back tears over the loss of my mother, double whammy, my dad too. Both their birthdays are in the coming weeks. I tried to communicate my raw feelings with hubby over the inability to have that mother to daughter dialogue about all that has transpired during this pandemic. I long for discussions on marriage, parenting and just all around women issues and fears after 50. I could have those conversations with my circle of Divas and gain great insight, advice as well as great laughs. I could put money on it with confidence that they would even shed tears or even clink virtual wine glasses if I chose to drown my sorrows in a glass of Cooper's Hawk, but the pain of missing Mama would still be there. Its just something about having a conversation with a woman senior to you and getting her opinion on life or the perspective of a married woman of 40+ years. An added bonus you mother would listen and not be judgmental and because she knows you probably better than you know yourself she would also know just the right words to give you what you need. Although I acknowledge I really miss my mom, I also know God can and will get me through these moments of grief. My heart may be heavy today, but I know and trust God that the sun will rise again.