There is no perfect way to move forward when you have loss a loved one and surely it is far more difficult if that person happens to be the love of your life. There are many challenges you will face going forward as you strive for a new normal and sooner than later the time will come to find creative ways to migrate through life's day to day experiences. I am confident you can already attest to the fact that it ain't easy and any excitement for Valentine's is at an all time low. Well, don't be so hard on yourself. Valentine's Day can be one of the most difficult days after the death of a spouse, partner, or significant other to get through solely because man has deemed Valentine's Day for couples. The bible teaches us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Yet, we allow this day to bring on increased feelings of loneliness and unimaginable grief, but it does not have to. This blog offers 6 simple ways to approach Valentine's Day when you are grieving by providing ways to create new traditions to celebrate not just the love of your life, but YOU!
You will not be able to avoid the influx of pink, red, and white roses, balloons, cards, and cute teddy bears no matter where you go or what you do. So, if its impossible to beat them lets be creative and join them. Yes, that is exactly what I said. Here's how...host, co-host, or attend a dinner party with a few friends where the theme is friendship. Do spread your horizon beyond just widows and widowers. Invite some singles as well as couples, and people you genuinely enjoy their company. If you don't feel up to the stressors that come with prepping your home for a party and clean up afterwards, ask a friend to help you, or make reservations for a private room at a local restaurant. Be sure to plan ahead so the restaurant will be able to accommodate you and your guest.
If you hadn't mastered this yet, Valentines is the perfect time to practice. Learn how to be good to yourself. It's perfectly okay to treat yourself to something nice. Self-care is a important part of the grieving process. Go ahead splurge on you! Plan a spa day with all the extra attention to beautifully made you from head to toe. Maybe you prefer taking a mini vacation to a place you've always wanted to go. Do ask your travel agent to book something with a tour guide and group that way you are not alone. Unless that's your preference. If the desire is to stay close to home, make reservations at a hotel of your choice where the experience is nothing less than royal treatment fit for a King or Queen.
Plan time with the kids or grand kids. Children are masters at cheering you up without them ever knowing they did. They possess a gift of lighting the stressors of life simply with the cutest things they say, and do. The attempts to keep up with their overwhelming energy is more than enough to redirect your energy and thoughts. Plan a Valentine Day party with the children to include decorations, table settings with all the fixings. Involve the kids in the preparation of the food and desserts and don't dare leave out making Valentine cards. Kids love baking cookies, cakes, and yes it will be messy, but so is life. Either way it will be fun, you will be bonding with the children, and creating new traditions and fond memories.
Maybe you want to stay home all together and avoid the flock of love birds everywhere. No worries, hire a chef to come to your home and prepare a meal. They are available in your area and not that expensive. But who's counting...we are celebrating you. The new craze now is Door Dash. Join the frenzy and order your favorite meal to be delivered at your doorstep. Which ever you decide, don't forget your favorite dessert.
If you are looking for something a little more low key, volunteering at your local shelter or assisted living facility helping the less fortunate is a great choice. It's something about helping others feel good about themselves that eases our pains and strengthens our emotions to keep things in perspective that God is still in the blessing business. Just by being there you are being a blessing to someone else. Helping others brings about a sense of peace and gratitude for your own life and all God has done for you.
Well it is Valentine's Day and love is a beautiful thing. The love you shared was also beautiful. There is nothing wrong with honoring your loved one and the life you were blessed to share with them. You were just as special to them as they are to you. So, of course they would want you to be happy. You can find ways to celebrate the life they lived by doing this; go out to dinner or cook a meal they would have enjoyed, watch their favorite comedy movie, play their favorite album that you couldn't tell them they didn't have the best dance moves, light a candle in their honor, plant a tree or flower in the yard to honor them.
Although you may be still struggling with the loss of your loved one and that's okay. There is no timeline for how to move forward or when you should get on with living, laughing, and loving. So, don't allow anyone to pressure you to stop experiencing these very real emotions. In God's time and with God you will move forward. God is only one prayer away. He's waiting in the wings to give you what you need to get through this sad time in your life. Have the faith in HIM to see you through the process. What better love to have than the love of God! HE loves you and so do I. Happy Valentine's Day! In spite of what you are going through today, hang in there for I can still see a butterfly rising. Wishing you God's blessings on your journey.
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